I'm a girl. This journal is almost 10 years old, when I started it, I called it Almost 21. Before that, I had a journal called Soap on a domain that no longer exists. Some things have changed since then, some things haven't. I always wanted to be a writer. I live out that dream here.
"I don't know - do you want to go somewhere?"
"I wouldn't mind."
He said he knew of a concert in a park somewhere, but our research efforts on this returned nothing. So we settled for a movie. 'Le Placard' was what we decided we would watch - an amusing French film about a pathetic little man whose life changed when he agreed to pretend he was gay to keep his job.
I saw chocolate covered raisins on the fridge over the counter while he was buying tickets. They were in little boxes - just like in cartoons and comics - and I wanted them for precisely this reason.
"Do you want something?" He came to stand beside me, trying to hold the tickets and stuff money into his wallet with one hand.
"Chocolate covered raisins! Look, they come in little boxes, just like in cartoons!" I could feel my eyes glinting with greediness as I turned to look at him. Somewhat amused, he bought me the raisins.
We were at the arty cinema - where most foreign and film festival films are screened. Cinema 3 - where Le Placard was screening - was bigger than most, with rich, medieval style decor. It looked strangely foreign and familiar at the same time.
I very rarely come to watch movies here. I have been so few times, that I can remember all the movies I have watched at these cinemas: The Matrix, with an old boyfriend; another French film, with some girls in my French lecture during my first year at university; American History X, with Jonno and the boys, and Amelia;The Dinner Game, with Jonno alone - the night where he held my hand and let me rest my head on his shoulder, letting me think that we might be more than just friends, then harshly setting me straight when I questioned him about it, telling me he "didn't make anything of it"; Man on the Moon with Bart; and Snatch with Boy and Rosh.
As I sat, looking around the theatre, I felt as though there were snatches of memory floating around me, popping randomly in and out of my brain. In the few minutes we sat there before the advertisements came on, I was reminded of every single movie I had seen at the cinemas: where I was sitting, who I had come with, what we had done after.
Nobody ever bought me chocolate covered raisins... I thought, fingering the box to feel its squareness, then shaking some raisins out onto my palm and stuffing them in my mouth (which may have seemed like a good idea at the time, my current stomach ache would have told me otherwise). I'm definitely with the right guy.
I felt silly. Like I was on a first date.
"What are you looking so smitten for?" Boy asked me as we walked to the car after the movie.
"Nothing." I said, grinning like an idiot. Then, I hugged him and buried my head into his chest, embarassed.
"Smitten kitten!" He smiled, and hugged me back.
11pm found us back where we were three hours before: on my bed, sharing kisses with hints of chocolate covered raisins, and I was, for the first time in weeks, insanely happy.
I hope it lingers.